when I find myself looking back tryna reconnect to the facts, i managed to look at the scene with me and the rest of the teens back when I was just a man i would lay in bed all day empty shell inside my hand different person than i am today back when I was just a man (back when I was just a man) nothing ever went as I’d plan walls melted in front of me (back when I was just a man) my body just went so weak they think that I am not in control their fingertips as black as coal their bodies as white as heaven their souls as dark as hell when will they shoot their guns and watch innocent people run when will they build their factories and add you to their trees back when I was just a man i could taste acid in the air and breathe it in through my lungs like decorations above me, corpses hung now I am not a man (when I find myself looking back) how could I go home to them (tryna reconnect the facts, i) when they identify me as such (managed to look at the scene) but god I miss home so much (with myself and the rest of the teens)

[kuro] the gates wide open i hop inside there’s no hope in corporate homicide the darkened night turns a bright crimson red as two blasts of light leave to meet the dead the owners soon wake up running out to the garden where i hide pouring out their half-filled cups then i vanish right out of sight [coda] i just want everyone in this room to go i just want everyone here to leave my home i just need some time alone WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU STILL DOING HERE GET OUT, GET THE HELL OUT try doing everything i can but things just got so out of hand and somebody turned up the goddamn fan and i’m gonna fucking freeze to death, Jesus Christ

sunny days with friends havin' a nice ride seein' the beautiful c.o. sky until we see some storms on the horizon we drive backwards as fast as we can but the red storm is a-comin' we hopelessly watch the clouds move to meet us we no longer see any light goodbye okinawa goodbye mountain rivers goodbye, goodbye to you all goodbye denver goodbye forgotten cities goodbye, goodbye, return to senders goodbye faithful miners, goodbye to you too goodbye, red yellow and blue

(song dedicated to my boyfriend: eddy) PART I (mind) 0:00 (2:10) they told me not to forget i enjoy paying my dues i love to make sure my shit is all set and that i would not leave you too please realize what you mean to me and that i would never leave you you are all i think about day and night you bring too much joy to lose please never leave me i want to sleep with you i want to spend the rest of my life with my head on your shoulder never leave me you’re so good to me you are so sweet to me you make me so happy please never leave me i will always love you i want to spend my life with our hands interlocking so never leave me i want to grow old with you you mean so much i love you so much i love you so much i love you i love you and i can’t get you out my mind no i can’t get you out my mind i love you i love you and i can’t get you out my mind and i can’t get you out my mind PART II (the fire sermon) 2:10 (1:24) oh friends are better with lovers oh lovers are better with friends oh minds are better together oh we’re better together PART III (who’s afraid of blue?) 3:34 (2:24) blue roses cloud my mind when i sit and think behind of how you fell in love with me and raise our minds to be above with me and i think about your face your kindness holds me in place when rome falls once again when rome falls i think i’m just gonna dream it happens every night sometimes i dream about your light sometimes i is it normal to cry when you think about what you’ll find because the one you love will be there he’ll love you just as much PART IV (loving in a reprise) 5:58 (3:21) i love you i love you and i can’t get you out of my mind and i can’t get you out of my mind i love you i love you and i can’t get you out of my mind and i can’t get you out of my mind believe me i thought of everything i want at least that is what i told myself at first you were only here to make me feel like i was blunt the gun laying firm on the ice-cold dirt when we fell in love the ice began to warm it was cloudy and rainy but that’s just how we liked it we traversed through every tornado in that storm and we spent no energy to try to fight it insert doubt, insert what this was about and we successfully escaped on a raft from this drought PART V (store) 9:19 (0:57) i was walking through the store and i thought i’d get everything but they were all out of almost everything so i came back to you and you had what i needed i hugged tight and we fell asleep

I WASN'T HERE i wasn't here no one could know me i wasn't here no one could find me i wasn't here no one could try me on my own i wasn't here you can't prove it i wasn't here i wasn't here you couldn't see me at all SAINTS all of you think you're saints until your not anymore all of you think you're different til you act the same as everyone else around you

any day now i will find myself free but do you know how i could sit here til I turned 18? i log on to discord hide underneath my covers talk to my friends check the time and it’s four i log on to twitter to get my share of verbal abuse i see who’s fitter me or this guy who just turned loose any day now, fuck if i know what to allow, and what to show please just interact with someone new it’s tried and true, i do it til i turn blue but i need to stay in my chair all day i need to stay in my chair all day i need to stay in my chair all day i need to stay in my chair all day i need to stay in my chair all day i need to stay in my chair all day i need to stay in my chair all day i need to stay in my chair all day if i can’t find my way back home and i am stuck here to roam then i’ll just die and leave my carcass here if i can’t breathe much anymore my lungs have too much co2 in store i know that i have nothing to fear any day now talk to my friends watch some guy out who we all used to watch trend he turned out to be a pedo we exchange some serious chatter then just stop and stare out our window and see him standing there any day now (i need to stay in my chair all day) i will find myself free (i need to stay in my chair all day) but do you know how (i need to stay in my chair all day) i could sit here til i turned 18 (i need to stay in my chair all day) i log on to discord (i need to stay in my chair all day) talk to my friends check the time and it’s four (i need to stay in my chair all day) you want to know what’s more (i need to stay in my chair all day) i get high when people settle the score (i need to stay in my chair all day) if i can’t find my way back home and i am stuck here to roam then i’ll just die and leave my carcass here if i can’t breathe much anymore my lungs have too much co2 in store i know that i have nothing to fear if i can’t find my way back home and i am stuck here to roam then i’ll just die and leave my carcass here if i can’t breathe much anymore my lungs have too much co2 in store i know that i have nothing to fear

pack it up they know they’re better than me they think i can’t get over my hump well they’ll wait and see they’re right you know but i’ll keep on pushing anyways i have nothing to lose in this show i have nothing else to say they keep sending me nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on they’re searching me up with no clothes on with no clothes on with no clothes on they keep sending me nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on they keep searching me up with no clothes on with no clothes on with no clothes on they want a piece on me i want a piece of them so let’s compromise please and we can both get a trim i’m sorry if i sound heated but i really want someone to defend me i am here and i am seated about to have someone out there offend me they keep sending me nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on they keep searching me up with no clothes on with no clothes on with no clothes on they keep sending me nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on they keep searching me up with no clothes on with no clothes on with no clothes on please find something under my body something turned up where it didn’t used to be my phone’s flash flickered on randomly and i looked at the photo and i was completely gone i try to look and i see a picture frame in the image i see my body wrapped in some ghostly visage i turned around and the picture frame was gone i looked down and i was gone they keep sending me nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on they keep searching me up with no clothes on with no clothes on with no clothes on they keep sending me nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on they keep searching me up with no clothes on with no clothes on with no clothes on they keep sending me nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on they keep searching me up with no clothes on with no clothes on with no clothes on they keep sending me nuuuuuudes they keep searching me uuuuuuup they keep sending me nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on nudes with clothes on they keep searching me up with no clothes on with no clothes on with no clothes on

(original song by car seat headrest) the early bird catches the worm i have worms in mousetraps, baby i did something bad i’m not allowed to go outside anymore i can only be awake at night for the next year of my life in the freshly dug earth in front of the cabin i feel so haunted i feel so haunted seeing the world in petals, everything made of roses i know cause when i close my eyes i see red spots seeing the world in petals, everything made of roses i know cause when i close my eyes i see red spots i feel so haunted i feel so haunted i feel so haunted i feel so haunted is there some rule that guys can never talk about everything? they just watch the girls go by how are you tonight? just look straight ahead are you still in school? promise me you’ll go inside when i leave i don’t want you hanging around please don’t fight, please don’t argue i’m just looking out for you there’s a crack in my window all the peeping toms come and peep whenever i’m in the nude they all line up down the streets no one seems to notice no one seems to care it doesn’t really matter i’ll just put on my underwear i’m getting haunted i’m getting haunted i’m getting haunted i’m getting haunted i know i'm drunk again and i've said enough for the night but there's a skin i'd like to steal a house to sleep in where i don't have bad dreams but i have so much to fear get some exercise, get me exorcised but do we ever really heal? these problems are familiar, these songs that i've been singing for, god god, it feels like years promise me you’ll go inside when i leave 'cause i don’t want you hanging around please don’t fight, and please don’t argue i’m just looking out for you i feel so haunted i feel so haunted i feel so haunted i feel so haunted i feel so haunted (alright)

at the break of dawn i am stacking cards at the end of the day i am still stacking cards and while underneath the plates collide in a form of group suicide the nature of the storm that’s happening here has the tendency to make everything unclear but don’t worry God’s on my side but don’t worry I’m not on my side breaking backs and breaking banks burning contracts and breaking states breaking wills and breaking fates breaking frills and breaking hate breaking me’s and breaking my’s break the area between your eyes break all forms of western education breaking all of the corporations the cards are shifting the cards are shifting the cards are shifting the cards are shifting the cards are shifting the cards are shifting the cards are shifting the cards are shifting when will you be here on your own when will you be here to dethrone when will you be here to find an extreme when will you be here to go and scream (with me) my tone tends to depreciate my soul can not appreciate it i can’t tell if it’s deflation but i can’t really sit still at this subway station don’t mind whatever that naked man was saying even if he has a point he’s just looking for someone to obey him and i know you’re far better than that watch out for this one guy he wears a black suit and a tie he carries with him a long scythe he’s known for sucking out people’s lives he walks the streets on bare feet he’s known to try to act humble he’s known to try to act kind please don’t let him deceive you get away from this awful person he wants nothing but to rob you again and when you have lost everything that you own he’ll come back to your home and take your skin get away from this horrible person he comes to you when you’re a reckless teenager he’s known to look for you all day and night he can vanish right out of sight

we hold in memory, the ones who haven’t made it as i lay on my floor bleeding out someone called the hospital someone called the cemetery but i am so out of it that i can’t even think straight and when i go alone will anybody be home and when i go alone will anybody be home